This episode opens with Diana and Anastasia at the tanning salon with Diana saying how good she has to look and how she gets her nails done every week. She thinks a “tanner” person looks better, but did she ever look into the risks of tanning? You know “skin cancer?” But, she thinks it looks “healthier to be bronze. She thinks people judge you on your looks, but maybe not everyone is as shallow as she thinks and she looks fine the way she is. Then she adds she is thinking of doing a tattoo lip liner! She realizes it’s permanent. And when she finds out the tattoo artist lives right next door, how can she not go? Well how about if 5 or ten years from now she regrets doing it or what if it doesn’t come out the way she envisions it? Diana actually says she is doing this to get a rich guy! And surprisingly, Anastasia voices common sense and tells her a Russian guy doesn’t just want someone who looks good, but someone who can take care of him and has a brain.
Marina’s House, my favorite place to be (insert sarcasm here). Marina, Michael and Eva are talking and Eva tells them it is going to be the 20th anniversary of her father’s death. Eva says her brother and uncle will be going with her to the cemetery on the anniversary of his death and Michael says, yes they will all go. To which Marina immediately says, she doesn’t think she should go because she never even met the man! Michael tells her that is disrespectful. Eva says why she doesn’t know him and isn’t related to him. This woman has no idea at all of what it means to be respectful. She should keep her mouth shut and someone should explain to her that it is to show respect to her husband and mother in-law to attend as a family! She didn’t know the fashion designers, but she went to many parties during NY Fashion Week! And on top of that she doesn’t think her 12 year old son, Zev, should go either. She thinks he is too young to visit a cemetery. Michael and Eva disagree. It’s about showing respect to his great grandfather and Michael says it’s for him to learn to appreciate where he came from. Oh brother, she goes on to say that as his mother her job is to protect him from extra stress. And as Eva and Michael point out, it’s normal to have some stress in life and he needs to be prepared for that. Eva thinks Zev should learn about the history and suffering of his father’s side of the family. Marina, as usual, is being totally unreasonable. Eva is reduced to tears and Michael sees his mother’s pain. Eva is hurt and asks Marina if she can change her decision. Marina says it’s how she feels and as usual, Michael doesn’t stand up to her as the man of the house. He is the father and yet has no say. And, if I heard correctly, Zev is named after Eva’s father, all the more reason for him to go!
Anastasia and Diana’s apartment up next! What a joke! Tatiana, the tattoo artist, lives in apartment 7A and the girls live in apartment 7B! And Diana is just now learning that she is her neighbor and lives about three feet away? Diana explains she wants a lip liner and Tatiana explains the procedure step by step to her, making sure she knows lips are more sensitive. The discussion of the different size needles makes Diana freak out, but does common sense kick in and make her leave? After thinking about it a few minutes she decides to go through with it. But not now!
Does Marina look HOT?
Marina’s House again, oh brother. Michael tells her his mother is upset and guess what Marina answers, “I don’t care about your mother being upset, this is about ME being upset! You better care about me being upset, OK!” He says ok and pathetically walks away. Come on Michael, stand up to Marina, you let her bully you all the time! Marina says that she doesn’t want to traumatize her children, that’s it. Michael tells her she is blowing the whole thing out of proportion, which is true. He tries to explain to her that a cemetery is a place to reflect and remember the person, there are no dead bodies. But finally he says he is not going to fight with her over it. And, she also refuses to go.
Michael and Marina are at the furrier looking at coats. She says, it’s his job to buy her nice things, to pay her bills, and to give her a good life. But God forbid he gets any say in what goes on in the household? We see Marina trying on various items and Michael actually says one coat “looks hot on her.” (I am dying laughing right now.) Michael wants to get her a nice coat so she will change her mind about the cemetery. Marina was already on to him. Marina says there is no fur coat in the world that is going to make her change her mind. Ugh! Michael says he will respect her wishes. She puts on a $20,000 coat and he tells her it looks stunning…I think Michael needs an eye exam.
Back to Anastasia and Diana’s apartment. Diana’s parents stop by, isn’t that nice? She invited them over because she wants to hear their opinion about the lip liner tattoo. Really? She already knows what they are going to say and so do I and I never met them. Immediately they both say “NO” when she bounces the idea off them. Perfect. She explains why she has to have this procedure done. Every day she has to put on lip liner and every day it’s annoying…gee how lazy can you get? And she seems to think this will help her find a man in the future. Come on, is this the best the writers can do??? Please!Diana’s father is upset because she has always placed too much emphasis on her looks.
Damn, back to Marina’s house! Michael goes to talk to Zev. He plans to smuggle him out to the cemetery. He explains to his son that the family is going to the cemetery and why. He asks him if he wants to go. Zev answers, what is mom going to say about it? They get ready to go while Marina is out with her daughter. At the cemetery the family leaves rocks on the tombstone and prayers are said. Eva feels it is very important for Zev to have this experience, it‘s Russian culture. Michael wants his son to toughen up and also to know about the strong man his grandfather was. Then Michael tells his mother, you know Marina is going to kill me for this.
Eddie and Albert chat and Eddie says that Russian women go out of their way to make themselves something that they are not. Yet Eddie is forever trying to become the next Situation from Jersey Shore! Maybe that analogy with sink in with him?
What do you think?
At Anastasia and Diana’s place, Diana takes one last look at her natural lips. It looks like she might change her mind when considering what her parents said, however the show must go on and they need drama, so off to Tatiana’s we go. After applying tape to Diana’s lips, and not very neatly I might add, Tatiana takes out the needles and gets to work. Diana is screaming, presumably from the pain, if she is actually going through with it. She seems to be bleeding and saying OMG. We get a peek at it, I don’t like it. Then Anastasia says Diana is going to see her parents later that day. Why? Diana loves it as she looks in the mirror. I guess that’s all that counts. Seriously, I think it’s a mess.
Diana’s parents home. She tells them she had it done and they both think it looks ugly. After telling her how much they hate it her father asks her where she got the money to do it. She says she saved up. He is concerned about the way she spends money. Her father asks if it was an investment? Being sarcastic. She answers yes now she doesn’t have to buy as many pencils.
Marina’s home. Marina walks in and asks what they did all day. Michael says we’ll talk about it have a seat. Michael tells her he took Zev to the cemetery. Marina looks like she is having a convulsion! Michael says they wanted to respect her wishes but her wishes made no sense. Zev says he is leaving when the screaming starts. She yells they he took her child against her wishes and Michael finally answers, he is my child also. Then she explains how her vote is always above his vote, she is the mother. And it ends with Marina and Michael arguing and Eva leaving the house.
If you missed it and are dying to see it (sarcasm) try this link http://www.hulu.com/watch/279233/russian-dolls-cold-wars
Picture credit: Lifetime